The other day a dear pastor friend & mentor called me to chat about a decision I had made. We are both a part of a prayer group & I had asked the group to pray for me and this decision that God would guide me to my right place.
He shared many nuggets of wisdom. He also called me out on some things too -with love and a lot of laughter cause it was the truth 💯.
I post this to allow you to have a sneak peak into my world of journaling . Maybe it will help you too!
April 4, 2019
For years…. I mean YEARS I have been trying to find my voice.
I would look for approval in people and be disappointed and heart broken.
I would pour myself into others and be left completely empty because I had expectations that if I poured out, certainly when I became thirsty they would pour out too, right?
Gurlllllllll… the thirst was REAL 💯.
Ahhhhh…. then I put on my superwoman cape 😝 😝 😝
“I’m a strong woman, I got this… ⁉️”…. Sound familiar?
Yeah…. that helped on the outside (so did the hair laid, face slayed, suited up, stilettos 👠 on point- powerhouse woman here).
But on the inside…. I yearned to be completely who I was made to BE.
And in that beingness (today I now am aware of) I’d discover that my voice, my heart, my strength, my pouring out, my leaning in, my vision, my giftedness, my purpose, my people….. were waiting for me on the other side of the fear of letting go.
He shared what God gave him for me “Dezi, you are uniquely called to be the messenger to women who are where you were. Receptive women.” I had been praying for clarity prior to his call!!!
Listen y’all….. I spent years listening to “Dezi you’re too______________.”
I internalized and gave power to a story that OTHERS created.
And each time I was ready to launch, at the most inopportune time that BS storyline rose to the top and stopped me dead in my tracks.
Phew 😅 I THANK GOD FOR AWARENESS!!! I will take my first step today.
And… don’t look backward. You’re not going that way.
The people who need OUR VOICE are out there waiting for YOU & I.
Today, I hope this helps you have a little more courage. Know that there is someone here cheering you on while you live on the other side of YES!